Monkey of the Month

Mandrill Manny is the official monkey of September...

U-City Grill, Tattoo, and Another Web Page

Today was really strange... It was kicked off by a bulldozer shredding the street in front of my apartment. there was even a car parked on the street when they started. They left a little trail so that I could get out.

Around 2:30 Sam and I headed over to the U-City grill to eat before the prices go up. It is still the best place in the world to get Korean food and breakfast. The prices increase on the 1st, so tomorrow's you last day to get some...

This evening, and here comes the weird part, Kiani got a tattoo of a peach on her back that I designed. It came out great. I am very happy for her. It's just plain surreal to have one of my pieces immortalized on someone else's body.

Lastly I decided to purchase an official site, michaelalm.com. I have been debating it for a while, and Russell helped me make the leap. It was pretty cheap. I'm designing it now; it should be up in a few weeks or so.

My drawing

The outline

Colored...yeah that's blood (Don't click on it if you are squeamish)

This a picture from a while ago when I got a flat on I 70 and had to unload everything from my car:

Hot Rod

I Typed "Hot Rod" into the search blank on allposters.com and it gave me a picture of Rod Stewart.

Car Care, Napoleon Hardhat, and Sam's New Place

Yesterday I decided to take care of a much needed problem. My station-wagon has been leaking rainwater into the right half of the interior. as a result the floor mats were sopping wet and had starting to mildew something awful. The car was beginning to reek and the bird carrier was preventing me from getting to the problem. Finally I said screw it and unloaded everything. The carpets gushed brown water when I took them out and there was standing water on top of the floorboards. It has taken over 24 hours to get the carpets dry. I also found the remains of the car phone that was once in the car. It was this on-board computer type thing that was hidden under the passenger's seat. When I tilted it on its side the same brown water poured out from inside the casing. Now I'm not really sure what to do. I need to get the leek fixed before I put the mats back in, because otherwise I'll be doing this all over again.

When I came back inside, Graham was putting together his hardhat for the annual engineering best hardhat competition. A title he has apparently won in the past by making it into a stealth fighter. This year he's made it into a massive Napoleon hat. Pictured bellow...

After going to see Broken Flowers with Russell, I headed over to Sam's studio apartment for a little house warming party she was having. It's a really nice place. Pretty spacious honestly. It's right accross from city hall in this cool old hotel type building.

Amoco

Mildewed carpets

Graham in his hardhat

Sunset over the Loop 

Move in, Unpack, IHOP

I'm in St. Louis now, and it's just as hot here as it was in KC. I have moved into my new apartment, which is awesome. My room is twice the size of the one I had last year. I stayed up half the night trying to get things straightened out. Michelle was over here helping.

The room is great the only problem I've found so far is the fact that the floor boards above me are really squeaky, so when ever the people above me walk around they make this painfully annoying sound. This very well could drive me insane.

Today I stopped by Russell's to pick up my desk chair, only to find that Deena, his roommate, has been attempting to claim it as her own. She had been trying to convince him that the chair was her boyfriend's. Luckily she wasn't there to fight about it. I just swiped it.

Afterwards Russell and I went to IHOP. It was great...the women working there said they missed us. We told them that we are starting our weekend routine again. It's nice to be back...

Corcoran Gallery, Animal Hospital, and Cheese

Today I sent off one of my bird photos to be put in the Corcoran Gallery's publication. How did I get that to happen? The short story is I didn't...Keith's girlfriend's roommate Katy works for the gallery and needed out of state artists to feature. Like a good brother Keith put in a word for me. Now I'm gonna be published.

Also today I went over to the Lakeside Nature Center to see if they would let me take pictures of the birds in their medical facilities. I took me forever to explain what I was doing and why. (I wanted to get pictures of one of the birds getting fixed up.) They said they would talk to the director about it and call me back later. I told them it would only take about ten to twenty minutes. When they called me back later the woman told me that the director didn't think it was "appropriate." I would think that if anyone would respect this project it would be the people at a nature center. I'm going to try another one tomorrow, and hopefully they will not have a stick up their ass.

Last thing is we tried the cheese straws again with relative success. Relative in that they tasted spot on, however, their turd like shape left something to be desired.

She likes my website. That's all I need!

The KC Zoo, T, and K

Today was Tien and Kiani's last day in KC. Kiani really wanted to go to the zoo and I was glad because I had run out of any other ideas. We had a lot of fun. I was a lot of walking, however, the weather was plenty cool enough to get the job done. Here are some of the pictures I took...







I was very happy to have guests out here in KC. It is very rare. T and K, thanks for coming, and I hope you guys enjoyed it.

A Last Day, and Visitors

Yesterday was my last day working in the glass studio...It's kind of sad because I don't know how long it will be until I get the chance to work in glass again. I had a great time there though.



Tien and Kiani are here from St. Louis and I am showing them around right now. So far we have eaten a ton and done a lot of walking. By the way the Kemper has a lot of cool exhibits right now, so go see them. If you're in KC that is. I could say more but I want to sleep.

Birds, Worlds of Fun, and Cheese Straws

I got a lot to talk about... First off I have a couple new Bird pictures that I'm going to include at the bottom. I was out picking up a new set of band saw blades when I saw some tags that I couldn't resist putting the birds in front of. While there, I ran into the owner of the building, STRETCH. That is really his name. I hadn't met him before but I had heard about him. He is this short Italian guy who builds these massive steel sculptures. He is all about image, and making his name know. More power to him, because he has become one of the most influential artists in the Kansas City arts community. Here is his website if you're interested.

That afternoon I went with Kristin and some of her friends from camp to Worlds of Fun. (For those of you not from these parts, it's an amusement park.) Get this, the group was made up of 2 Brits, a Kiwi, an Ausi, a Scott, and three Americans including myself and KG. We managed to go on all of the coasters at least twice, get soaked from the Monsoon, and assault a gorilla. (see picture bellow)




Finally, my Mom and I attempted the famous family cheese straw recipe and failed. They collapsed in the oven. We think the batter wasn't cold enough. We're going to try it again tomorrow. I'm sure you all wanted to know that.

Flying Hamster?

I Beam

I'm Nark'n

Lawrence, The Spanktones, and an 86' Oldsmobile Station Wagon

Last night I went out to Lawrence with KG and her friend from camp, Michelle. Out there we met up with Ted and Tim and headed to a bar called The Jazzhaus.

This place was so shady...in a good way. The seats and tables were bolted to the floor, one of the walls was lined with castings of naked female torsos, in the men's bathroom, painted on the wall, was an octopus with bloodshot eyes holding a martini glass in one tentacle and a joint in another.

The best part of the night, however, was the Spanktones. This is the house band that lets anyone who comes through the door jam with them. The band itself was pretty good, but some of the people who got up to play needed some work. the worst was this guy who got up to sing a Justin Timberlake song. Not only did he think he was the coolest man alive, he also started screaming and grunting into the microphone. On top of that he drew a blank on the lyrics halfway through the song.

The highlight was when Ted downed a double gin and tonic and started playing the drums. He did really well for himself. They played this blues song that really made me wish I had my harmonica.



On a totally different subject, Sam found this ad on Craig's list. this guy wants an artist to paint his 86' Oldsmobile Station Wagon. I've e-mailed him and who knows, if I have time I might give it a shot.

Birds

NEW BIRD PICTURES!!!!!!

KC from above

Behind bars

Stack of gates

Under the highway

By the tracks

Fireman statue

In the water

Wrought Iron Beetle

Example of having way too much time and energy.

Stinkoman, and death by computer

I'm so happy...I got to level 3 on Stinkoman!

Oh yeah, and a man in Korea died from playing a computer game for 50 hours straight.

Star Trek Communicator

So some guy in England has started making Bluetooth compatable cell phones shaped exactly like Star Treck Communicators from the original show. Yeah....nice

Scaglietti, Pigs, and Ornaments

Last night's Top Gear was awesome... First off, they test drove the Carrera GT, which was amazing. When you stick a race-bred V-10 into a $400,000 street car it is always a good time. Then they took a Ferrari Scaglietti, the four seater V-12, and drove it from London to Switzerland. The best part about it was the fact that the host driving the car was racing against the two other hosts who flew from Heathrow to Geneva, took a train into central Switzerland, and a bus up to the final destination...a ski resort. At first it looked like the two were going to win by hundreds of miles, but when it came down to all of the waiting between the trains and the plane it literally was down to minutes. It was so amazing the Scaglietti eeked into the lead when the two were walking from the bus stop to the resort.

So I figured out the pigs... I didn't realize that you could move the guys on the ladders to move up and down. Also, if you press the mode button they will move up and down on their own. The game is still insanely hard though.

Finally, I wanted to show off some pictures of the bases I've built for the hood ornaments:

1953-1955 Nash, 1951-1953 Dodge

1942-1950 Packard, 1955 Packard

1938 Plymouth, 1953 Willys

Pigs on Head

Here's a game I found. Let me know if you can get more than 10 points, because I sure as hell can't...

Biscuits and Gravy

I went to brunch today with Pete, Noonan, Dasta, Berger, and Noonan's girlfriend, Amanda. I had biscuits and gravy, and I felt them for the rest of the day. Those suckers cling on!

(I'm going to be really sad when the Darth Vader picture goes away)

I See London

First Friday, Tattoos, and School Girls with Rulers

Sorry guys that last entry was really long. If I were you I wouldn't have read it. I'll try to make this one a bit shorter...

Every first Friday of the month Kansas City and many other cities have a large number of gallery openings. It is essentially a massive city wide booze-fest. Peter, Ruth, and I went down to join in the fun. It took us an hour to find parking, and I achieved the tightest parallel parking job of my life.



We met up with Taylor, Sam, and Sam's Girlfriend, Teresa down there. The festival was fun and all, however, there really wasn't anything all that amazing about it. The most interesting part of the night was when in the middle of a gallery a group of girls dressed like "catholics" holding rulers broke out into song and dance. It wasn't that it was all that sexy, in fact it was noteworthy because it was so amazingly awful. I think Teresa described it best by saying, "I hope those girls were either payed to or threatened into doing that."

Afterwards, we headed over to Muddy's and talked about tattoos for a good hour. I really want Sam to get a giant anchor on his chest...instead he's getting some Latin phrase from the Iliad. Lame.

Broke B and The Worst Company Ever

So today I decided to take the MGB to get my cell phone "fixed." I made it there fine. I gave the Verizon people my phone and they told me they would update the software in 45 minutes. They said the out of date software was probably the source of my reception problems. I knew it was bullshit, but I needed to let them fail so that I had some leverage later. It's kinda like when the Dell tech guys tell you to reinstall windows when you really know you were just given a bad drive. They like to try the software before they fork over any cash for the hardware.

The real drama started on my way back. I was stopped at the stoplight between Shawnee Mission Parkway an Belinder. I was just sitting there and the whole car shut off. Like no battery power...as if I had turned off the ignition. Next thing I know the light is green and my ignition is dead. For some reason my hazard lights did turn on though. Luckily, I was on a steep enough hill that I could slowly roll down Belinder. So I pull off to the side only to realize that I have no cell phone. HA!

I hit the ignition again. this time I hear that obnoxious electric fuel pump noise. That is the first time I have ever been happy to hear that thing. I crank it and it sounds like it wants to start. A little rumble and then nothing. I shut it off and tried again. No good. It didn't want to start.

Plan B, find a phone. Looking around, I didn't feel like going up to a private residence so I went to the closest business I could find. There is this little office building on the corner that at one time was a bank and now is a office for a construction company. I wish I had gone further...In the middle of the day on Thursday one guy is working and has the door dead bolted. He came to the door acting as if I had just ruined his day. He, hesitantly, let me use the phone. I have never met someone so curt in my life.

Anyway, the only number I knew off the top of my head was my Mom's cell number. (My parents are in DC for the weekend so I couldn't call home.) I got them, luckily, and my Dad gave me the number of our mechanic, Craig. I called him and he said he could pick me up with his trailer in 30 minutes. I told Mr. Office Man thanks and sat out in the heat waiting for a tow.

Craig showed up after an hour, and of course now the car decides to start. I had tried it five minutes earlier. So Craig follows me home with no problems.

I leave the B in the Drive and take the Benz to pick up my cell. That goes fine. I refuse to look at the phone till I get back home, because I know full well they didn't fix shit.

When I got home the wind had started to pick up and it looked like it could storm pretty bad, so I open the garage to put the B away. I hop in the car and pop the key in the ignition. Guess what....NO POWER. I pushed the fucking thing in by myself.

I headed inside to finally embrace the air-conditioning and try my cell phone. Sure enough the first call I try lost its signal. Oh happy day!



This picture was taken tonight.

Ceramic Brakes, Dune Buggies, and Blue Birds

I was watching Top Gear tonight on Discovery Channel and they were reviewing the Mercedes McLaren. The coolest part of the review if you can believe it was when they talked about the brakes. Not only can they beat the minimum safety distance from 60-0 while going from 120-0, they are also have this new form of ceramic rotor. Under heavy breaking conditions they glow bright red...

There is nothing cooler than that.

For those who have not seen Top Gear you are truly missing out. It is one of the funniest, most original car programs I've ever seen. On this program the three hosts were given 1,200 pounds ($3,000ish) each to purchase a Porche. They showed up in an hideous trio of mid 80's clunkers. they then had to take their cars through a series of ridiculous challenges. These included a 70 mile drive, a concourse, a personal add including their car (testing the no. of responses,) longest skid line, fastest lap, and finally they had to sell it. One of the hosts ended up just parting his 944 out, another couldn't sell his at all.

Dune Buggies: my new love. I bring this up again because today I got the three buggy books I ordered. They are going to teach me how to build one. I'm living the dream...

And last...more bird pictures. Yesterday I went back down to the West Bottoms for another shoot. Enjoy...

12th Street Bridge

Kansas City Southern Train

Tubes under a bridge WB's

Lift

Tags in the West Bottoms

Jake and Bumblebee Braun

The first bit of news I've got is the first dog to enter in the Alcatraz invitational, Jake, got 72nd out of 500 people. Here is the link and make sure to watch the video.



Also, I did go to the trial this morning. It was highly disappointing. I made a mistake with my previous post...he wore a bee suit last time. Unfortunately, this time he didn't put it on. Instead, he wore a yellow and black striped shirt. I guess it was a transition between the bee suit and prison stripes. (A metamorphosis to use an insect term.)

Here is the only quote I could find online from his last trail. "A man who felt he was wrongfully prosecuted in a police sting operation showed up for his day in court in a full-body bumblebee costume. Conrad J. Braun, 54, was in court to hear a judge decide whether a blackmail charge against him should go to trial. While the charges were serious – Braun allegedly threatened the current husband of his ex-wife with violence – his outfit was amusing to just about everyone but the judge. Braun argued that there was no law preventing him from wearing whatever he wanted in court and that he should be allowed to stand trial as a human bee." (http://www.apbweb.com/humor-n.htm)

All that happened today was they moved for a retrial and pushed the sentencing back till September 22nd. Peter and I both regret not putting on costumes ourselves. It would have made for a lot more interesting time. Peter dressed as a clown and myself a ghost. We would have made papers.

The Birds, a Fat Man Walking, and a Court Hearing

Today is the first day since the great bird massacre that I have mustered the energy to go on a photo-shoot. It's still painfully hot here, so it is hard for me to get motivated to go outside. Also, in the mean time I fixed the rig so it won't tip again.

Today I went down to the West Bottoms; a district filled with rundown old buildings and rail lines. Very cool and perfect for the book. I've included some of those pictures bellow. I will definitely be going there again I just hope the temperature drops soon.

Another thing that has been fascinating me recently has been this guy Steve who is walking across the US to loose weight. I have never heard such an amazing story. I'm sure you've all heard something about it by now, but the reason I bring it up is because they just got the site running again. They were having so many hits on the site that they had to take it down. The site is thefatmanwalking.com and is really worth a read. (I have also put a link to it on my side-bar.) Steve has already lost 50 lbs and has made it half way through Arizona. Even though he has had to go to the hospital a few times he keeps on moving. He has been quoted saying, "I'll continue on crutches if I have to." He refuses to do any endorsements, but openly invites people to walk with him. You have to admire the man.

The last bit of news is the court hearing I'm going to tomorrow. Don't worry It's not for me...they haven't caught me yet. This is a hearing that Pete heard about the other day. Supposedly last time this guy was in court he showed up in a chicken suit and threatened to blackmail the judge. I really have nothing better to do, plus I have never been in a court room and kinda want to see what it's like. I'll be sure to write about it in full detail tomorrow.

The West Bottoms

More in the West Bottoms

Truck Tire West Bottoms

Train Tracks in West Bottoms

Exile Tatoo on Main

August

August is here and that means a new monkey. I have started up another page to record all of the old monkeys. The sited is listed bellow the monkey of the month. Stay tuned...I have a great idea for September.