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Thanksgiving Memories

I wanted to throw up a bunch of images from my break. I don't really feel like I need to talk about them cause I really don't know where to start. And, if I do find a place, then I won't know when to stop...

It's good to have moments like these saved forever:

Dasta, KG, and me

Kristin at her best

Looking at something


Pictures from I 70:

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody

My Mom fixed one hell of a turkey this year....I hope everyone is enjoying their bloated stupor as much as I am!

Passed out, Long Drive, Diesel Story, and the Website

Last night I finally crashed. All of the sleepless nights added up and I fell asleep at 7:30. I woke up again around midnight only to fall back to sleep from 2:30 to 10:30.

Thanksgiving is on its way, and as usual that means I have to do the ol' I70 drive across MO. It's scary when you start to memorize which gas stations are which. The drive started off really slow, and right at dusk (which was at like 5:00). Clayton was totally clogged, it took me 45 minutes just to get out of the city.

When beyond 270 things slowly started to open up...The drive was really dark and boring. I kept myself entertained by looking at the lights attached to the big rigs as they drove past. I saw two that had the orange light-up crosses in their grills; excellent. I also like to play games with the cars around me, like follow behind one for as long as possible, or match speed with the car in the next lane until they get pissed off. For the most part it was just dark and boring.

There was one annoying/entertaining that happened at one of the gas stations however. This was about 75 mile outside of Kansas City at a BP station. I pull in and have to go over to the side where the truckers fill up, because my car is a diesel. I hate filling up in the trucker area because the rigs use a bigger size nozzle that fills the tank faster. The nozzle doesn't really fit into my tank, so I have to sit there and hold it. Plus, because it fills so quickly, it backs up often and the trigger clicks. This makes it really hard to judge when it is done. When it finally is full a wave of fuel comes gushing out and down the side of the car. So I go into the station to pay. I have diesel fuel all over my hands and shoes. There is a pregnant lady behind the counter yelling into the phone, "No, we're gonna have Beefaroni for dinner. It'll be fine..." She ignores me for a while. "Well what else are we gonna have then..." After giving her an impatient look, she says "Can I help you?!" "Diesel number two" She goes back to the Beefaroni debate. "Listen that's what I'm gonna cook..." Slowly she gets out one of those old sliding credit card machines. "How you wanna pay?""Credit" I said trying to express how unamused I was. She keeps talking, and trying to work the machine. After dropping the phone a couple times she tells the person on the other line she'll call them back, but the person refuses to let her do so. The woman has to say bye like fifteen times before she finally just hangs up. "Parents..." She says as If I should understand what she means. "You said number two?" Still fiddling with the machine. "Yeah." "You the white rig out there." As if I looked like I came off a rig. "No." "Right, you said two." she looks out the window confused, obviously not seeing my car. She keeps repeating the phrase "You said two, right?" I keep agreeing. Finally, she charges me for the fuel and I ask her where the restroom is. "On your left." I point to my left confused "Over there?" I ask. "No your left" She points to my right.

I'll save you the details of the bathroom, but it was definitely the type of place where you feel cleaner not washing your hands. On my way out the lady sceptically said "You put diesel in that car of you yours." I respond, "That's what it takes.""Well golly, I ain't never seen that before. THat's why I was confused."

I did finally make it home and man is it good to be back. I haven't been here since August. I'm very happy to sleep in my bed!

Update: the michaelalm.com website should be online tomorrow. Not all of the kinks are worked out and the gallery pages are not done, but at least it's a start. It should be all done in the next few weeks.

Don't ask me how I found this, all that matters is that I did.

Worn Out

Sorry I've been lame with the blogging, this entire month has been really busy. I got the National Geo article done, at least the first nine copies. One has been sent out with Jill (she had a dental appointment.) She snapped some photos of it for me. The article is also going to be published in three installments in Artillery Magazine, a campus arts publication. Currently, I am working on a grant proposal. I have written the guts of it over the past week and met with lady from the writing center for about two hours to help me out with it. I have a lot of work left to do on it, but it's coming along. What sucks is that it's due the Monday after Thanksgiving, so I'm going to have to work on it over break.

Last night I went over to Kiani's Apartment for her birthday celebration. Kiani has adopted a dog named Trouble from Animal Rescue for the week. She is a pit-bull that was found in a collapsed building in New Orleans. Trouble was so weak when they first found her that she couldn't lift her own head, now she has energy and strength to spare. Kiani chose her because the women at Animal Rescue weren't strong enough to walk trouble so she remained crated almost all the time. Kiani is now trying to train the dog and will change her name (which she doesn't respond to yet) hopefully making her more desirable for adoption.

Committing Fraud and a Biography I Can't Seem to Write

I've been spending the last few weeks working on a fictional article about my birds and their trek south along America's highways. I spent a good three weeks writing the piece and putting together a layout for it to fit into. It is designed to look and sound like a legitimate National Geographic article. I have used the images I took of the birds over the summer. I finished the entire layout in the middle of last week and got it printed on glossy paper. I also went out and bought ten November issues of National Geo. Over the weekend I steamed off the covers of the magazinges, cut the glue off the spine, removed both the contents page and an article on ocelots (which happens to be the same length as my own), inserted my printed replacements, and reglued the binding. Earlier tonight in the book studio I glued the covers back on. So what do I do with it now? I'm goning to distribute them to doctors offices around the area. There is an e-mail address listed at the end of the artical which will hopefully get me some feedback.

Now that I am almost done with that project I am trying to get my website up and running. Russell and I have been working really hard to get the programming completed, and we are almost there. The current setback is all the writting that needs to be done. I have been trying to write my bio over the last few nights and am getting nowhere. If anyone wants to write it for me I would love it. It keeps coming out like a personals ad "Loves art, traveling, and going to the movies. Would love to show you around the studio some time."

Last night I was bored and opened MS Paint, and here's what I ended up with....Pink bunnies on a beach with a fish. Uh....yeah....I feel like it needs a caption but I couldn't think of one.

eBay = Hours of entertainment

Would you guys respect me any less if I started wearing this? (where is the Fonz from?)

Rocky Horror, and The Samurai Electricians

Last night was nothing short of bizarre. Gina and I went to the midnight showing of Rocky Horror at the Tivoli. I don't know what exactly it was I was expecting, but this was not your average movie trip. There was a troupe named the Samurai Electricians, which performed the movie in full costume, with props, in front of the film. Basically, they were ten people who had seen Rocky Horror a pathetic number of times and wanted to share it with everybody. I was simultaneously impressed and saddened. When I say they acted out the whole film I mean the WHOLE film. Each member of the troupe was a specific character in the film and they knew all the lines, and all of the blocking. Plus, the audience got prop-bags to use in specific scenes, like rice to throw at the wedding, and balloon to pop when the tire blows. I'm not completely sure I understood what was going on, all I know is that it was loud and debaucherous....

Earth City, Nobu, and Web Design

Last night Russell calls me up and say, "Want to go on an adventure?" "Uh" "I need to go to Earth City to pick up a package." "Dude that is the sketchiest thing I've ever heard." So, I went with him. I have no idea why...

He picked me up on the corner of Big Bend and Melville at about 6:30. I actually knew that UPS's shipping depot was in Earth City, but I couldn't think for the life of me why Russell needed to pick a package up so badly. He said it was for the adventure, but that I didn't believe. We went past his apartment where there were two UPS trucks parked outside. I said "Russell, why don't you check with these guys to see if they are delivering your package?" Russell responded, "I called UPS, they said its in Earth City. Plus, the depot closes at 7:00 and I can't wait to talk to them." I told him as we drove away, "You know your package is on that truck right?" He shrugged and kept driving.

We took Olive to I70 and made it to Earth City in about 25 minutes. First thing we had to do was figure out where in Earth City the depot was. I started looking for UPS trucks to follow while Russell called their main office. I saw DHL, and FedEx and then after driving in circles for a while and Russell discovering all that he could get from the main office was the address two UPS trucks drove through the intersection at which we were stopped. The light changed almost immediately and Russell makes a left turn directly into on coming traffic and stops across three lanes. Just a word of advice, when you intend to cut off three lanes of traffic, floor it; do not get intimidated half way through and STOP! He is a fucking idiot. And I told him that, I said, "Russell your a fucking idiot, why in the hell did you do that?" "I'm trying to follow the UPS trucks." "Yeah, cause they move so quick they're going to get away."

We found the depot and the customer center there. We stepped through the automatic glass doors and into the most depressing place ever. It was filled with dead beats that needed their packages so badly they are willing to drive to Earth City at 6:30pm to get it. Let me paint a picture. There is a line of about six people. At the front there is this overweight grey man wearing a sweat-stained UPS uniform. He has been there all day and has been dealing with these wastoids every night of his life. The guy in the front is a middle aged hippie with shoulder length curly hair and jean-shorts. He is pissed off at the sweat stained man yelling, "Man, these guys are not happy, man. Man if they don't get their package tonight their screwed man, screwed..." The guy tells him to go over the the black telephone and call someone to check on something. When he picks up that phone and his unwashed hair engulfs the receiver it makes me question all my years of public phone use. Russell was in line behind this Russian lady who said to him, "Why does this have to take so long?" Russell shrugged and then she ripped one. I was leaning against a wall to the side. Next to me was this fat scruffy black man. I looked over at him and he pulled a fortune cookie out of the pocket of his windbreaker and ate it. I walked up to Russell, and said to him, "You know we're not leaving here with a package..."

Russell reaches the front of the line, gives sweaty guy the tracking number and all that and the guy sends him over the the black phone. Russell goes over, dials the extension, talks for a while, and then looks up at me. I smirk. He smirks back. He hangs up the phone and I say, "It was on the truck." He nods. We walk out.

I was genuinely mad and I don't really know why, because I knew from the start how it was going to end up. For some reason it took me a while to calm down. What did the trick was Nobu and some incredible Sushi. It was the best I've had in probably two years. It was perfect. I don't know if I have ever had tuna that good, and the salmon and avocado was perfect. I think between the two of us we ate six orders.

The rest of the night we worked on the epic struggle that is my website. I've never been known to make things easy and this site is no exception. We worked on it for four hours and still have a ton more to go. Right before I left we found the UPS note on the door saying they stopped by, but couldn't deliver.

November

Holy crap it's November. I have no idea how this happened. Anyway, I posted a new monkey. I think he is a bit better than last month's. I'm running out of stereotypical monkey names...